Nazjayy

Ramadhan this year.

2011-08-04T04:47:00.001+08:00

Salam Ramadhan everybody. I might be 4 days late but hopefully everyone doing good and let's hope that this Ramadhan bring good to all of us, Insya'Allah.

I'm trying my very best to atleast go Tarawih prayers. Everytime i go for Tarawih, it reminds me of mak. She's the only person i go Tarawih with all the years so far. Anyways, went to visit mak the other day with my uncle and grandfather and i missed her so much. I really hope Al-fatiha and yassin reaches her. Amin.

Today is all that you have;

2011-08-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

"When you wake up the morning, do not expect to see the evening. Live as though today is all that you have. Yesterday has passed with its good and evil, while tomorrow has not yet arrived. Your life's span is but one day, as if you were born in it and will die at the end of it."

Khidhir was my brother, my bestfriend and my lover. We went trough a lot of ups and downs and we planned a lot for the future. We tend to forget that we as human beings planned and that God will decide. I made a lot of mistakes in life and I dont want to live with a lot of sorrow, bother, anger, jealousy and malice and therefore I hold back.

Everyday i wake up being so scared of death and if he tumbled upon this in any ways, I want him to know that things may not be the same anymore but I forgive him and hopefully he forgives too. I pray that he will be fine, hope for the best for him and that God will bless him.

Past, present and forever, I love you.

For abah.

2011-07-30T23:06:00.000+08:00

I pray that my dad will forever be a good dad and God will always be there for him.

2009 supposed to be my VS bags.

2011-07-02T00:54:00.000+08:00

Was clearing up emails and read up the past emails. I got scammed by Diana Koh aka K. Sayuri. I bought like 2 Victoria Secrets bags for only $80. I felt stupid to believe her but because of greed, I blindly transfered $80. How stupid? Anyway heard news she was jailed for 3months. Thank God the bags didn't arrived!! Too many *cough* minahs *cough* wearing it.

Grad day 2011.

2011-06-27T02:08:00.000+08:00

Taken during my cousin, ikhwan's and mingyi's graduation while the boys when out to take a break. We sneaked in and had the time of our lifes!

While watching the whole ceremony, i wonder how it will be like when its our turn. Hmmmm.

Abah, thanks for everything ;)

2011-06-20T02:00:00.000+08:00

But of course how can i forget today is father's day. My dad. He is the best dad in the whole entire world. I love him because of so many reasons. He always remind all of us to be a good sister to each other. Always respect the elders. There were this incident when my mum had a small fight with him YEARS BACK THEN when i was only like 6? I thought my mum chased him out the room. So i went out and hugged and cried so hard because i dont want him to leave my mum. But guess what? He was only watching soccer-.-

My family always had this idea that my dad is so strict about everything. But really. He is so not strict. Don't tell me calling his daughter up at 1am asking if i needed anything since im at some friend's house and volunteered to get food or anything for me. Of course at certain days he has his swings and don't even bother to call me up. But when i get to see him the next day he will go "Adiiiiiiik....."

He made the best subway sandwiches! And cook quite a bit too.

We love fireworks and will watch fireworks together at Kallang during National Day Parade and go supper to the best place. All this small little things made me so proud to have the best dad in the world.

Mak, I miss you.

2011-05-26T23:42:00.018+08:00

My grandmother passed away 12 days ago. I was affected very much because Ive been staying over hougang, my uncle's place to take care of her 3weeks before she passed out. I love her a lot and miss her so much. For the mean time, i will be staying over at Serangoon to accompany my granddad.

Mak, its weird not to greet you. Its weird to not laugh at our jokes. Its weird to not see you cook at your kitchen. Its weird not to have you around.

Mak, I miss you.

2011-05-26T23:42:00.016+08:00

Mak, its weird not to greet you. Its weird to not laugh at our jokes. Its weird to not see you cook at your kitchen. Its weird not to have you around.

What Im up to.

2011-05-26T13:44:00.000+08:00

Ive been busy this few weeks. So many things happened and Im feeling too good about whats happening around. Been going out for shoots and doing the things i love.

It may be monday blues for most of you. But i love mondays! I get to show the photos to Raymond, my lecturer and manipulate them right away. He thought us a lot of tips, secrets and magic of photoshop and photography.

The first week of school, i told Lijia im scared to show the lecturers my works because I seriously think Im no where there. Why im scared? Because I dont want them to say evil and mean things to my work (esp photography).

So anyway, I couldn't make it for architecture shoot and told lijia to just take any photos for me. And this 2 are the best. Yah I know the clouds look fake. Just dont talk about the clouds because i like it that way!

a) and b) Architecture shots by Lijia and manipulated by yours truly. I edited the perspective, give the buildings 'free' cleaning on the dirty walls.

c) Panoramic shot entirely by yours truly. Im truly am sad because I initially wanted to shoot at Pinnacle@Duxton but already feeling too cranky because of the weather and to consider I borrowed Shah's camera, I obviously had no time! So since im staying over at Serangoon, I heard about Nex and since its just 5mins away from my granddad's, i went.. and was disappointed but spotted a better place. THE NEXT BLOCK! Took 11-20shots and stitch them together.

d) My first mock up for namecards and so not happy with it and came out with e) and f) and still not happy with it. I shall work harder.

Mak, I miss you.

2011-05-26T11:42:00.000+08:00

Mak, its weird not to greet you. Its weird to not laugh at our jokes. Its weird to not see you cook at your kitchen. Its weird not to have you around.

Mother's Day.

2011-05-08T13:07:00.001+08:00

My mum is my everything. I always tell my friends on how strict she is and how sometimes i make fun of her tigress face and how she always have to fake smile because she is spending too much time at work (thats because her occupation requires no smiling hahaha). But God, thanks for this precious gift. Eh, she gave birth to 4 babies eh. That is difficult!! 4 baby girls... EVEN MORE DIFFICULT. 4 lazy annoying noisy ladies... EVEN EVEN EVEN MORE DIFFICULT.

Last week, my grandmother had a depression when we were at Malacca and my mum insists on heading back home straight away. Oh you dont know how we convinced her that Mak is alright. So we headed back home and the next day she was lying on her bed... suffering. Looking at her like that made me realised on so many things.

I, out of so many people in the family. I, the not at all family person. I, the one who doesnt even care what happens to her family. I, the most horrible granddaughter/daughter ever straightaway volunteer to take care of her despite this is my final year in poly. I bet everyone was thinking twice. But i insisted.

It was tiring. I was annoyed. Dealing with depression grandmother was never at all easy. I have to clean up her mess, I bathed her up, I massaged her, I prepare her medicine before going to school and after. It wasnt easy to say no to my friends when they asked me out. I could just ignore her lying on the bed like that but i choose not to. I could just tell my dad to pick me up at night and leave hougang and just say i want to concentrate on my final year project but i choose not to.

As time passes by, I want to go home even earlier. I want to see the conditions of Mak. Everyday i text the maid at home if she felt better. The other when i reached home late because of the night class at 11pm. Mak was screaming in pain and I rushed in the room and started crying. Yes, a stupid thing to do but i couldnt help it. I massaged her neck and started to apologized to her for going home late. She said "Its okay. i troubled you so much. You are tired, go to sleep. I can handle this alone." And of course i dont believe her because she was really in pain. I stayed there till 4am just to make sure she was alright.

My grandmother thought my mum how to be a good mother/good friend/good cook/good at everything else. And what was i thinking being tired and annoyed just taking care of a grandmother?! Thanks mummy for everything and despite being the only horrible daughter (sorry ah middle child syndrome ah), I will always be there for you like how you are always there for me. And to my grandmother, please do not say that you are troubling me, you will never trouble me and even if im tired taking care of you, whatever it takes for you to get well. Im blessed to have two strong ladies in my life. <3

(My mother is always worried of wait awaits me in the future and she told me that i will be the first one to chuck her in the old folks home. But mummy, do you even think i will let anybody else take care of you?)

A trip to Malacca.

2011-05-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

I love going holidays with my family. First; Everything is free! Hotels, Transportation, Food, etc Second; We live together but I dont really see them often (because I dont go home or go home late) and so yeah its a way of bonding?

And it was a short trip. I had my time swimming my life away with the sisters and did a little bit of shopping. I love them and without them, my pillar of strength. Especially my parents. The littlest things they did that made me a proud daughter.

Till the next holiday trip to Bandung and KL this June holidays? ;)

Universal Studios Singapore with the best best best best best friends.

2011-04-12T19:53:00.000+08:00

Last 2 weeks I was talking to fida about how badly i want to go Universal Studios and I dont really really plan to go USS this holiday. I was thinking about going but no rush, really. And then Fida suggested maybe we could go and.... I was excited as hell! You have no idea how many times i check on to the website.

Got my aunt to pay for me using her mastercard hehehehe. Fida slept over my place the day before so that we wont be late(HAH HAH HAH) and I couldnt sleep. Met the boys downstairs till like 6am while fida is sleeping.

Ahmad told me not to take the Human Cyclon roller coaster first but we did and it was really good. I felt so so so happy and maybe the best roller coaster Ive ever ride. We spent like a total of 8hours just on the rides and 2hours shopping!

I love Universal Studios and yeah cant wait for our getaway next year featuring Dan, the hot climber hehehe. As for now, lets save all the money and rob a bank if its a must! (:

Being silly at Universal Studios. from nazjayy on Vimeo.

I took my leave not because you are difficult but because it was not worth it.

2011-04-09T20:29:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought of how special you are towards me? Have you ever thought that you bring all the happiness in the world for me? Have you ever thought that i dont even want to end what we started?

But. That was it. The end.

All i expect you to do is tell me the truth. Things could have been better but you destroy it.

Maybe not yet.

2011-04-03T04:03:00.000+08:00

Hello, you wont read this because you will never know this space. And I like you and really am afraid to fall in love with you. At this point watching you is fine. I don't know if it helps seeing you everyday. Call me crazy or anything but the moment we say goodbye, my heart shrink. The moment you touch my hand, it feels good. The moment we hug, i just dont want to let go. You are too nice and please don't be nice to me. I dont want to fall in love..maybe not just yet. Thanks for always being there for me and don't go, just don't go away.

Lulu and Yasser 4th Anniversary.

2011-04-02T03:55:00.000+08:00

One of the cutest couple ive seen so far. And Im so amazed how both of them say love to each other. They grow old together and its funny how they told Pao and I about their love story. Its just too cute and im going to stand by their side till the day they say 'I do'.

I love how people get into relationships (though i dont really believe in that). I love how things are getting rocky and then they get back together again. I dont know how to describe the feeling. Its just that happy feeling.

Anyways, Yasser called me the other time and he already planned on what to do for their 4th and told me that he want to do a candle light dinner. I was excited of course because I love all this preparing of food and the set up! So he decide on the menu and passed Pao the stuffs and everything is done!

I was glad things it went well and again babes, Happy 4th and more to come (:

Jar Of Hearts

2011-04-02T03:17:00.002+08:00

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I hate you. I really am hating you and theres no way im going back to you. It was a big mistake, a big big mistake and i thank God for opening my eyes.

Dinner in the sky.

2011-03-29T18:55:00.001+08:00

One of the best place in the world. Okay... not really place. Its like a everwhere place. The gof thing about "dinner in the sky" is that you can dine in anywhere in the sky! You can choose to hold up a meeting, a dinner, a perfomance... anything up there! But im not sure if it is available in singapore tho. They hoist up the table with a giant crane, and three chefs cook an amazing meal. The photos are thrilling, but would you dare?

I would and i would bring all my best people up there!!! FIDA WOULD DEFINITELY LOVE THIS!

The best thing on my life.

2011-03-25T13:45:00.000+08:00

The best thing in my life: them.

It felt good to have this two around me (literally close to me). I love them and pray that our friendship will last and God, thanks for this beautiful friendship. The only thing that will never change in my life even if i die. I know they will always be there.

Shopping Spree.

2011-03-24T04:49:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats shopping, manicure, cheap thrills with a bestfriend. Its just us and our world. We missed shah that day (He will scold me if i dont add in his name.)

Academy Of Rock.

2011-03-24T04:13:00.000+08:00

My aunt called me the other day to inform about the upcoming concert by Uncle Fairuz and his students. And so She was telling me that he need a favor for a sign to be placed on his door and so i made this. Nothing to fancy, its just a simple favor. I just thought the phrase are too cute hahaha. Fishing because thats his hobby!

A great event, good music and cool theme! A concert done by Academy of Rock and if anyone interested on learning music, please go to their site!!!

Nadia & Rafi

2011-03-24T01:58:00.000+08:00

My sister and her boyfriend approached me for a photoshoot. It was quite an impromptu shoot day out. And since Rafi has a car, we travelled around for good places to snap snap! That day was great and i had my share of fun too! Love my sister's turban and if one day im going to wear hijab, i would definitely don like that. I will definitely, insya'aallah! Enjoy the photos!

It is Zy's birthday (:

2011-03-24T00:54:00.000+08:00

All of us were busy and so we had a belated surprise for Zy and I really hope she loves it! <3

Nur Syahirah and family.

2011-03-18T03:01:00.000+08:00

I was given an opportunity to shoot kak irah and her family. I was amazed on how beautiful this family is and how cute their children were. I thought maybe I am going to have a huge headache but everything was fine and fun too!

A huge thank you (:

2011-03-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

Hi! Im doing good now. Everything is so good and this is the beginning of my life? I dont know but im so so glad to have my friends around me.

Like how Khairi and I randomly sms each other asking about how things going (:

Fida and i make sure (she is my everything and i cannot live without her!) we meet once or twice in week cause she is working now and just the other day we rushed down to warehouse sale, they had new look, levis sale and it was crazy! I bought a jumper, maxi skirt, two tops, a bottom and platform slippers everything for less than $30! :O

Pao and lulu are always there for girlfriends session and God thank you for them <3

Shah, Lijia for taking good care of me and I love them so so so much and hope we will still stay together no matter what and hopefully our travel plans are really going to happen. One more freaking year guys and we are going to show the world what we got! (:

Ezzati may be far apart from me but i know she will always be there and she knows i am too. She will come over tomorrow and i cant freaking wait! :O :O

End of SP4.

2011-03-07T19:41:00.000+08:00

Studio Project has ended and I dont have to face Yi ling, I shall thank God! And hope that forever, i will never work with her ever again.

Hello?

2011-02-26T05:09:00.000+08:00

Studio Project 4 in progress. Everything is messed up but im blessed for sure! I can't wait for this to end and work on my portfolio. I must continue to get inspired. Be back for sure babes! (:

True friends are hard to find.

2011-02-19T05:31:00.000+08:00

I must thank God for these people around me. Be it close or not. I love them so much. I dont want to lose them. Oh God, please bless them and please give them all the love.

Things won't get any better than this...the end.

2011-02-19T05:07:00.001+08:00

At first it was a mixed feelings. It was too difficult when everyone else are talking about it. I couldn't accept the fact. I choose to not believe them, I choose to be the oh-so-nice girl. But what if there was a chance for you to find out the truth? Would you grab it?

I rather cry every night then not know the truth at all. Yes, i just don't want to lie to myself like how I used to.

Valentine's Eve.

2011-02-14T05:06:00.000+08:00

Yeah we had like another celebration for our Lulu's 18th. I love it and i love them. When everyone else turn their back against mine, they will be there for me no matter what and thanks babes for today.

P/S: Its a PJs theme party by the way.

Why am I pretending to be happy all the time?

2011-02-13T02:01:00.000+08:00

You know that feeling when things are not supposed to be shared because somehow or rather i dont want people to think that they are my comforting corners. Someone knocked my senses and it hit me hard, in a good way.

I didnt realise that all this while it was about 'it' and now i promise to keep my sorrows here and shall just 'be happy' infront of anybody else.

Today, is another challenge. I know i cannot continue doing this but I did. Makciks will say "Ah tu la kau carik pasal sendiri". I am no makcik and I dont know how to handle this things anymore because im just scared of everything that will affect me later. I don't know if its real or not but I know there is something wrong somewhere.

Its me.. maybe its just me.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

2011-02-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

One thing about me and Pao. We could like not meet for a long period of time, have the different cliques and still be able to rock this friendship. I love her alot <3

Amolede again!

2011-02-07T20:37:00.000+08:00

Yes, of course I have to blog about my favourite module and my favourite people! I love you two assholezx and whatever it is, even if we are late or even we are just being cranky caramel crunch or being so bitchy or being so annoying, thanks for the good work (Although we know what we are going to get, i really think we did the best... or maybe can do better la?)

Best weekend ever!

2011-02-07T20:17:00.000+08:00

I am probably the happiest girl ever during this CNY weekend. It was the best weekend in 2011..so far? *Hoping all my weekends to be like CNY.

On thursday, my elder sister being such a nice kakak treated the siblings with popeyes. We are already fatties, shes making us double fatties. Straight after that, we head to Mak's place and had our version of gathering too with the cousins and got an ang bao from Mak! I feel bad, she shouldnt have to! :/

On friday, I rushed to CostaSands to join in the paternal side. Slept over and the next day is Hallyssa Fathiyah's 6th birthday and like all the parties we had, this time its hawaiian theme party! Everyone was so excited and I came out with the outfit only the day itself and got myself a 3rd place and got myself a sephora!

You sure do love my outift right right?! Hahahahaha. So that Saturday, LV and i rushed back home to surprise Lulu. Its her 18th by the way. We waited like till 12midnight and board the bus and she was so happy, Im so glad! Bought her LaSenza brazz and she loved it too hehe. Slept over. Learned how to play monopoly deal and won like a lot of times hehe (so much of not wanting to learn how to play)

Sunday, rushed back home got ready and bought Ben and Jerrys for desserts for the private party at lulu's and cabbed down! Must really STOP cabbing already haiz. But i got a free ride home after that hehehehehehehehe.

Feel you whisper;

2011-01-25T11:32:00.000+08:00

I dont know if this is real. I just...miss you...
I must tell myself its not the same anymore.

Im not dead.. yet.

2011-01-22T03:24:00.000+08:00

There is so many things to update, so little time but since im already am awake and I promised myself to blog today, here you go guys. Ive been thinking about resolutions lately and keep changing them and then i realised, i dont get along really well with resolutions. Maybe thats why I am such a 'lepak one corner' person. Thats one thing about me, i dont care about what people want to talk about me and such like that because what made them so sure i never talk about them? So yeah, dont really bother about that.

School of course is giving me a heartache more than headache because the lecturers are giving more and more assignments and not that im saying its unfair but hello i need a break. Then again, i forgot that im this close to Year3. Everything is happening so fast, sometimes i couldnt believe it. I am still thinking if i should continue my studies, maybe... if i deserve it (of course i deserve it!). If not, Graphic Designer then.

Whatever it is... I must be a lecturer in ITE. Ive heard so many things from a relative who is now teaching digital animation in some ITE. I think she is trying to scare me when she told me about the students in there and such. The weird thing is, the more she tells me about how rebellious they are, the more excited i am to be their lecturer!

My family is going jakarta this coming june holidays and i dont think im going. I know right!! As much as i want to skip school and go for this holiday, i couldnt. Oh well.

Friends are always there for me. Like literally. I love them very much and I dont know what will happen if one day I will lose them.. Okay shall not talk about losing :/ hahahahahahaha. Khid and I are talking now. Yes, i know it is unbelievable and such. Nothing about giving each other second chance or things like that. We just think it is about time.. actually it is supposed to be a long long time ago but so much of ego leos we are.. we decide to talk only now.

Okay so everything is done... now come the best part! Kimmyy and I will be launching our blogshop soon.. to be precise this weekend! We are of course afraid of so many things and such. But all iz well! We want to keep our blogshop small, cute and simple. Nothing too extravagant or such like that. Of course we need all your help to make a little bit hoo-haa about our blogshop! So get ready for our launch.

P/S: Please follow my updates @twitter. Im sucha busy bee and couldnt update @blog often.

Some things to change.

2011-01-21T15:24:00.000+08:00

I NEED TO STOP BEING A BITCH.
I NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THINGS THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
I NEED TO STOP BEING NEGATIVE.

The Notebook.

2011-01-06T00:30:00.001+08:00

“…I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter any more, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.”

if we were to see each other again, please do not leave and do not let me leave. I will always love you even how difficult our relationship may seem.

Dear Self,

2010-12-31T21:12:00.000+08:00

You muthafucking stupid girl ever Ive ever cross. NazJayy. You did so well that doesnt mean you are strong enough to face this. Please do not commit another mistake. What the hell are you doing here? I dont get you! Why are you trying you mighty best? I dont get you.

I should never be here actually. I was doing all good and all this fucktup feelings just have to come now. Fuck you naz.

WHY DID THIS BLOODY THING NEED TO HAPPEN NOW. I DONT WANT TO KNOW THIS. NAZJAYY, PLEASE JUST DONT BOTHER AND DO WELL FOR POLY AND GET THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE CALLED KHATIB. EVEN BETTER, GET THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF SINGAPORE. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. DO NOT BOTHER ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. JUST GO.

A little note for you;

2010-12-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

"If life gives you lemon... plop into your iced tea"

I know how bad life is treating you now. I hope 2011 will be a change and make you realise more. I am no one to give you advices on how to deal it. YOU will know the answer. But as for now, I hope you will be more happier and deal life the way it is. Whatever kind of struggle or anything like that, push it aside. I will be here for you no matter what from Day 1.

If you need someone to hold your hand,
I will hug you.
If you need someone to give a shoulder to cry on,
I will wipe all the sorrows away.
If you think youre alone,
I will always be near (literally) you.

2011;

2010-12-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

2010 was a mixed of happiness/anger/sad and whatever. But of course with all this things that happened, It obviously taught me a lot of things. I became happier (NOT BECAUSE OF TUMBLR! HAHAHA), I look at every single thing in a positive way...well im learning and im sure im good at this.

I think I will end 2010 in a good way and I hope 2011 will be a blast!!!! (: (: (:

In need of happiness.

2010-12-16T01:36:00.000+08:00

Im feeling so sick. How long already naz! HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO JUST SUFFER THIS?!
I dont even know myself, i dont even know what am i going trough. Whats all this shit going trough my mind! WHAT!

I HATE YOU because of you I dont believe in promises.

Does it really exist?

2010-12-12T04:36:00.001+08:00

I know its too early to tell, too early to say all this. But I dont think getting married is one of the MUST DO thing in life. I know, we know its also one of the sunnah in Islam and it is obviously encouraged for man to marry a woman and a woman to be married with the man.

But if you would want to ask me.. I love plannings, I love to plan to have theme weddings, how beautiful it would be like with so many bridemaids around me, how fun it would be like for once having a photographer shooting me instead of me shooting anybody else.

So now you see, I do plan to get married BUT I dont see myself getting married. The main reason i shall keep it to myself. There are just too many things I want to do with no restrictions. For example, I will be travelling here and there every 2 months once i get my full time time job and the money hehehe. WITH NO RESTRICTIONS.

I dont want to commit myself to another relationship and then go trough that 'I love you forever and ever' note: forever and ever

And then kapushhh that person gone with the wind. Isnt that called finding my own fault? I dont want to go trough bigger problems and I just want to have fun, enjoy myself and know what life really is.

Many said it is because of the heartbreak i once had but I dont want to blame that shit because it doesnt make any sense at all. Maybe, i should just let the Above one settle the rest. I shouldnt bother. Afterall, its all my fault every single thing i wanna do will lead to the biggest regret, so well i shall put an end to this.

Hello World in 1 year time and please just let me be!

(:

2010-12-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

My bitchy years are long gone and Im sorry if this attitude bother you so much becuase I couldnt be bothered. I hate being bothered by anything like this. Its not even a problem to begin with.
I could just say fuck you got to hell. I could just say get the fuck out of my life. I could do many things just to deal with you.

But you know what? Im too tired to even bother. I dont know whats up with you.

You choose. FUCK OFF or BE NORMAL. Other than that, Im lazy to entertain this kind of things I call childish. So easy to be around me dont you think so? Oh well.

Big bags of food and tidbits.

2010-12-05T14:42:00.000+08:00

My girls and I had a good time catching up and I felt so good having them by my side still... after so many years. We had fun talking about the past and of course the fun we had now in poly and jc.

Whenever Im with them it feels as though we are all still in secondary school but the difference is that fida and i got fatter and azie and dian got skinnier.

I hope this friendship last because i already had my time losing everybody back in secondary school days and I dont want that to happen and thats why Ive been doing this, planning for reunions.

To my girls, thanks so much for yesterday. It was a good one (:

Feel=empty

2010-12-05T02:53:00.000+08:00

The feeling when you miss someone so bad but you couldn't do anything.

It feels as though youre in an island with nothing. No one, just you alone. No hope, lost and everything else. Its either you wait... suffer or try you very best and not give up to seek help.

But at this point of time i rather wait and suffer because im just good like that.

I shouldn't feel this way.

2010-12-04T01:58:00.000+08:00

Have you ever bothered to realize
how much you mean to me?
I care so much for you inside
and miss you so deeply.

I sometimes sit for hours
Just to hear from you
And when you never come on
I’m unsure what to do

I lay awake in bed sometimes
With you stuck in my head
Sometimes I question your love for me
Or that your with someone else instead

Sometimes I walk at night
Just to gaze at a lonely star
Sometimes I fall to tears
Because you are so far

And every now and then
When I do speak to you
I always get worried
Incase you say we’re threw

And do you ever wonder
Just what I’m doing to
And do you know
Just how much I think of you

Because if tomorrow doesn’t come
And I haven’t spoke to you
How will you ever know?
Just how much I love you

Our conversation.

2010-12-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

Things like this made my night a good one (:

I hope you know.

2010-11-23T22:50:00.000+08:00

I hope youre reading this. Im doing well and Im fine. I hope you are too. Sometimes I miss you and it is just too hard not thinking about you.

I hope someday, we push all the thoughts away and just spend our time together like we used to. We could catch movies, watch sunsets, have picnics and everything. I want you to come and tell me everything is alright.

But then again, you and I......its too difficult to even talk about.

Bestfriend and Stranger?

2010-10-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

I totally understand you feel towards me because Ive been there, done that. I know how it feels to be at your position even though youre a complete stranger to me.

But because he is my bestfriend, I need to be there for him and he needs me.

I dont know how exactly to feel right now.. Its a mixture of feelings, regret? confuse? guilty? I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ALREADY NOW.

(L)

2010-10-24T15:54:00.001+08:00

My love and the ones who stick with me. The ones who will not be angry at even if Im 3hours late. I love you all.

Yesterday was a good time with K. Just us against the rocky wall! We talk about everything and anything. The reason why he is my bestfriend....duh? Because Im already too comfortable with him.... i gave him a good nag because he took so loooong just bathing. His mum is a cute mama, I was telling her about the charles and keith sale and we straight went down and I had to wait for fida for 2hours outside that building, so annoying bitch that one.

We ended up laughing to ourselves outside the building and wait for K's family and we had dinner over at sembawang and just talk about our lives.

Like malays usually would say,

2010-10-22T00:44:00.001+08:00

JANGAN MACAM FAHAM!

The camera flashed, capturing the moment on film for all eternity.

2010-10-14T00:46:00.000+08:00

Ive always love watching movies, shows, theatres, films. It started off when I was young, I always admire the actresses and always ask mummy "Mummy, do you think I can be an actress one day?" And like many other mummies, she say yes! But of course when i grew older, that answer suddenly became NO!!(because my whole life of living is to i think irritate the hell out of her! hahaha)

I slowly fell in love with photography..so far i had quite a few wedding shoots opportunities, events shoot out and start to learn video as well, not that i have a choice anyways. I started off hating Audio Video Production because it is really a hassle, trust me! We need to get things right, the lightings, the surrounding noise, Every Single Thing.

And then I started to watch films.. Yasmin ahmad and Saniff Olek really are good directors to begin with whom inspire and influence me to get my film done too. You know what they say when you have passion to do something, just do it! Even Nike agrees on that!

So do you see a future director and producer in me? Lets just say Ive found a suitable place for the screening and already got my story outline, how about that? Do you believe in me?

God, please bless K.

2010-10-11T01:58:00.000+08:00

2years ago, I was crying so bad and I only had one guy the closest to me. I hugged K and we talked and I cried. But mostly were cryings. He walked away and I cried even worst. He text me, he said

"I don't like to see a girl cry. What more to see a close friend like you crying. It made me feel so bad. I want to help but you didnt want me to."

So last 2nights, this happened and thank God he didnt put down the phone because I just need to tell him e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g that has been going on in my mind. As much as I dont want to tell him, I did. He said

"You can't lie to me because I know you better. Trust me, you won't be happy and this will haunt you forever. And please don't lie because you made a bad liar."

Year 2, semester 2.

2010-10-09T17:29:00.000+08:00

And oh by the way I promoted to Year 2, semester 2! God knows how happy I am to be promoted because seriously I think i did quite bad for the last semster.

Year2, semester2 going to be interesting and fun? I suppose.............

I promise to be more alert and the fact that I can do scripting(i still dont believe it!!!! till i manage to execute our application project) now, i believe for a better Naz for next semester. I will work hard and will not allow anyone or anything(so far im doing good and im not like any losers who think i am not capable on doing anything becuase i believe everyone can! so that explains why i dont bring myself down) to make me feel down.

At the same time to also cherish more times with my awesome friends in poly, means more time at the bridge hahahaha. We are left with only ONE YEAR and i dont want any of us to separate! <3

Khairi, fida and I already made a pact on what are we going to do once we graduated. I hope its going to happen!

Camp is the new shit.

2010-10-09T17:14:00.000+08:00

So like always, every semester we have our own chalet celebration. But this time everything was last minute and we ended up agreeing on doing our own pioneer camp. I know right, what the hell?! I thought everything is going to be disorganised and i thought there's a lot of arguements all around because we only plan like err 1week before the actual date camp.

Shah and I went earlier. Our plan was of course to sleeeeep at the water breakers or whever free space for us to sleeeep. He was working the whole night and I didnt sleep at all due to the excitement hahahaha. So in the bus we were planning on what to do because the rest is still at ahmad's getting the bbq stuff ready.

Clever us, we went swimming at the nearest island resort and we talk, laugh, swim, float, chill over there for 3hours.

The whole camp was a success despite the failure of having any good REAL games. Other than that, we bonded and Im so glad to see all of us are so comfortable and of course the happy faces that convinced me to plan with the gang another camp.

TO HELL WITH CHALETS.

True blue friends.

2010-10-09T02:30:00.000+08:00

Do you know I am so in love with them? Do you know how they mean the world to me? Do you know they are like already in my blood? Do you know they so special in my life that I would never trade them for anything?

I feel so comfortable with them. God, please bless our friendship.

As happy as clam

2010-10-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

Im back again posting what happened recently. We had an advance birthday celebration for wei li and im so glad he loved it! I love it it too because not only the pit is free* but the food marinated by william are fingers licking goooood!

After the huge amount of food consumed, we sent the girls home and ride on to the 8seater car. It was hectic....all of us were noisy and apparently the walking GPA, Mingyi, got lost all over and I helped with the road directions, eh i am quite smart on roads ah. Hmmmm...

So anyway, we had so many plans that night. We wanted to go lim chu kang, ghost hunting! and then realized its too far. Did a U-turn and some want to go sembawang park (is it true its scary?)! And then U-turn again and decide to just head to weili's and have our time there.

For all the ghost hunting plans to weili's cosy room. We talk and talk and talk about things, just us and the night.

If you been hating.

2010-09-26T02:24:00.001+08:00

If you be hatin just be mad at yourself
I bet you think this song is about, don't you (yeah)
But I did it without you (yeah)

Best people go raya!

2010-09-23T15:49:00.005+08:00

So yesterday raya outing was incredibly fun but of course it would be so much better with Lijia around. These are so far the best people I would seek during my down days. Feeda is new for most of us but she is so nice talk to. The boys (includes ayu) well err the best medicine ever, i love them so much!

Anyway, shah failed his tp... TWICE ALREADY!!

2010-09-23T04:57:00.001+08:00

Not happy with below post and decide to reply me with a long long long post,
email it to:
nazjayy@live.com.sg

I will reply......WITH LOVEEEEEEEEEEE<3

STOP TALKING.

2010-09-23T04:04:00.004+08:00

2010-09-21T01:25:00.003+08:00

As time passes, now im one semester more to Year3. That fast?
The other day Raymond, our lecturer had a talk with us and he encouraged us to be continue working hard. Well, all of us know we are not doing well. With the constant warning letters, personal meeting with the director and of course hard time meeting up datelines.

With all that matters...
Im excited to start working life. Fida starting hers later at 830am!!! Im feeling so nervous for her. I hope she's not late and take this job seriously hahaha.

AmoledeIXD

2010-09-19T05:27:00.003+08:00

It was the most hectic period. Week 2 we slept over at Lijia's and Keith's. Everything were all over the place and because all of us want to make this as a group work. Everyone helped each other and of course I was the most 'kanchiong' among them. I keep on telling them 'No, we should do this and that because the other group finished that part already' and then they calmed me down.

We have not decide on what to do by the end on of the first week and I felt like killing myself. What do you expect me not to blabber nonsense! We only have 3weeks to get our designs up, web designs, storyboard, script everything up, videoshoots, photoshoots and everything.

Week3, we obviously cant finish everything and decide to sleepover at my place the day before presentation because my place is near to school. We stayed the whole night and keep scripting, edit videos, getting the web designs right.

And it was a success.. we went all the shits trough and overall i think we did quite a good job already (Y)(Y)

Raya '10

2010-09-19T04:42:00.004+08:00

This year raya is not as happening as the past years probably because I'm having Studio Project and I was being so cranky, tired and just not in the mood.

And like any of the years, my family and I would head to my grandmother, paternal side and then to the maternal side and sleep all day. Yeah, that raya.

Not really special like any of the families where they go raya visiting till the morning! I used to envy that kind of family and really really hope to have a big big family but then I realised maybe not.

I love my family so much. And i dont want to change any. I dont want to have big big families and am already glad to have this family. Im closer to my mum's side because we spent time a lot together. We grow up together and I see them cry, laugh, smile.. EVERYTHING. And this bond will not break. We will always be there for each other!

Raya to me is just a way of celebrating with our family. I dont believe in the forgiving part because we can definitely seek forgiveness any time.

Oh by the way I get to only enjoy Raya on the day itself and just now which is one week after Raya. Of course I feel good! :)

Now I cant wait for Raya outing with my polymates. I love them Yeay! <3

What's up so far!

2010-09-09T16:36:00.003+08:00

Oh. For the time being, please wait for our brand new application designed by us! And of course coolkeith included!

A whole night spent eating Maggie and just brainstorming. Keep going guys.

Climb?

2010-09-08T08:04:00.005+08:00

A day with my love. So atlast I decided to make myself free and attend khairi's rock climb competition. I love you all from the bottom of my heart.

Happy Sheesha Night.

2010-08-29T01:25:00.003+08:00

Other than the miserable job, I made good great friends and i hope we wont stop right there. I love you all and we'll meet soon.

Quit.

2010-08-29T00:47:00.003+08:00

Hello! Im sorry for the long post update, everyone is enjoying their holidays i suppose. Just a little bit of last week, I stayed on working at Aquamarine, a buffet restaurant at Marina Mandarin. Google it if you want! They have nice food and I love their breakfast and dinner. They have a huge spread of local food and you would love it too!

But the thing about working in this line is of course, its either you have nothing to do or have a lot to do. Doesn't help anyways if you have new managers/captains that just suck big time. They make sure we work our ass off and i mean it. With so many fussy guests!!! Sometimes I couldnt believe us as Singaporeans are behaving this way.... Really, so what if you are meeting your most important client? So what if youre a manager of so and so. I thought we are suppose to be treated the same? No?

And because of this kind of behaviors I couldnt take it anymore and decide to just MIA. I dont see a point anymore working at such places where they make the part timers worst than a maid. We can't even sleep in the rest bedrooms if we're doing split shifts! Can you believe it? There is so many restrictions. The full timers acts as if they are the Queens everytime they entered the locker rooms.

And guess what? People of the world, people of Aquamarine and M.M, my parents are still capable of giving me school money and all the basic necessities and of course I am so going to study hard and will see you one day... yah! Wait till i meet my clients in your filthy restaurant.

Its the same.

2010-08-28T04:05:00.002+08:00

I don't know if its fate. You were wearing your favourite tee and talking so loudly. I stopped I heard her name. I let everything go and keep walking as fast and start to cry so hard. I hope you and I will be better in time to come.. maybe days, months or years. Whatever it takes just to see you you again i hope. Take care and I'm always here.

K's day!

2010-08-19T16:29:00.003+08:00

So and yes I was a happy girl because the other night, khairi came over and we lepak for awhile at our usual place, our playground and quickly decide a date to buy me my belated birthday gift because I am too busy...

He brought me to Orchard central and showed me his favourite place... now that i forgot the place hahaha. But all of you should go and have a climbing experience there but a little too expensive tho.

I forgot feeling so happy walking with him all the way talking nonsense and when I scream or shout he will give me that 'stop it naz!!' look. I felt so so so happy to have him with me although he is so annoying and such an asshole, he will still be the one I turn to.

We were walking around and he told me to get whatever I want with a 50dollar note.. Hmm sounds exciting but no actually. Im so fickle like that and I couldnt make up my mind and thank God that Khairi loves shopping too so he dont mind waiting.

Oh so went to Forever 21 and I fell in love with this chunky heels but there's no size and i hate it everytime there's no size or no colour or whatever. Spoil my dayyyy!!!! >:
And after so many rounds I then decide on this pretty cute wedge at New Look. He loves it too so i GRABBBBB it hehehehe and got myself a 30% discount voucher!!

Khairi, thanks forever hahaha i hope our krabi dream will come true :D

Regret.

2010-08-19T06:01:00.005+08:00

I was having my pre dawn meal and I was looking at this vase and I was recalling who gave it to me and it was a gift from a friend. I am always lazy like that to take care of such a thing. But that day, I opened my memory box, mind you i wont open it ever because there's just too many good memories that already gone to waste in that box and I always wanted to burn the box..But i did not of course.

So I opened it and I saw this card by her. It says,

"Thanks for accepting to be my friend and love me for who I am. "

O Allah was I crazy for not accepting any friends in the past? I felt so guilty now and that every thing is going too fast and I felt even stupid now because I remembered she's always there for me and she will be the one being so caring and loving and buy me friendship gifts that I couldn't be bothered to reply and one thing I regretted for life is not loving her as much as she does. But everything is gone now....

Dear friend,
Its Ramadhan now and I know youre somewhere around. I just know. I dont know what to say but thanks so much for always being there for me eventhough we were so young and still dont know anything about relationship, you taught me to be a good friend, you taught me to be happy looking at how cheerful you were those days, you taught me to put my problems a side and just look forward for life awaits you, you taught me many things that I just only realise today.

Im sorry for not being there for you, Im sorry for always ditching you in the past, Im sorry for not putting you as my 'Gold' friend in our diaries when you did.

I know its too late now to regret all these things but Diyanah you're always in my prayers and i hope youre doing fine up there. May Allah bless you.

Love.

Al-fatiha.

Windy night with awesome company.

2010-08-17T04:40:00.002+08:00

Ive been updating and editing my works this past holidays and really hope this will help me somehow or rather. No, im not looking for money or whatever here.... but I just need to be ready for my portfolio?

I did photoshoot the other day and Im glad the shoot ended pretty well. Other than that Ive been catching up with my loved ones and I love the company of them. Weili, Ahmad and I lepak at the playground just now midnight and stayed till about 2am? We did nothing but just talking. I think im falling in love with our conversations and our antics hehe.

Hmm other than that, things going pretty well and soon, school starts and that means STUDIO PROJECT... Im already feeling so scared now, I dont know what to expect. I just hmm want to pass and go to next semester please.

Alright, till then hope you all have a good day!

Vintage Deli Cafe.

2010-08-14T03:44:00.004+08:00

Me and my long lost bestfriend met just now and we had a mini celebration of our birthdays. Kakak suggested both of us to try this cute little vintage cafe located at Bussorah St and apparently the family who owns the cafe know her. Basically the owner's son is Ezzati's friend.

The dine in was almost perfect and both of us love the food so much. I mean what would possibly go wrong with such good company, nice ambiance, and good food!

We had so much food because its buffet and buffet for just $20? No joke. You all should try!

Oh yes, you must be wondering why the pictures are in rainbow? Because because someone's baking rainbow cupcakes today. See you loves have a good Saturday.

Not regretting a shit.

2010-08-08T04:59:00.005+08:00

Just the other day I crashed Lijia's place to finish 1/4 undone assignments and I was so glad we were 'on time'. At this rate.. I (we) had so many things in thought. Ahmad wanted to go to some business course, Ayu and shah thought of transferring to Motion Graphics, Lijia regretted of joining shah to this course.

Me? I had so much in mind. I was regretting the whole entire week thinking that I would have a better life if I continue the Art Teaching course in Nafa getting paid $800/month for my diploma years and get a job straight after that without no hassle with a $1.8K/month is no joke! I was thinking that maybe if I followed what abah suggested me on going to Events should be a better life. Or or maybe if i withdraw from this course and be a kindergarten teacher would help afterall I have my 5'0'Levels with me.. I could get in easily!

Today, I had a day with myself. I was thinking about this and I was telling myself to stop being a loser and regretting my life and thinking this or that would better. What more thinking of withdrawing this course?! I don't even know what was I thinking, really. And if really i'm going to fail any module(which I still have hope on passing!)... I should not be a loser and withdraw because I know I came this far and wouldn't want to leave my future to be a designer just like that. You don't know how bad I want to get that title.

Maybe I should just forget about my designs... maybe i should just have fun at that time neglecting all the submissions. But guess what? Im not a loser and yes, I want to be in this line and thank you Allah for all this, for making me a better person.

Now.. Fii Amanillah Syabaan, let's welcome Ramadhan with a clean mind, heart and soul. May Allah bless all of us make us a better person, InsyaAllah.

When everything goes out of place, I need you.

2010-08-05T00:50:00.005+08:00

Dear X,
Its been 4months since the we had a good conversation. The times when I was having so much problems and you came along. The times when I was feeling down and you cheered me up. The times that I had no confidence the first time in my life and you gave me hope.
I miss us. I miss the times when I can just text you and you will call me back. I miss the times when we just talk about everything and I never felt so comfortable before when Im with you.
Its sad to see such good relationship go down to waste. But I had too... because I don't see a point for us to have such a good relationship after so much trouble we got ourselves into.
You know how difficult for me to prevent myself checking on you? You know how difficult things were after silence invade us? You know how difficult for me to stop thinking of you?
Just a week ago and I stumbled upon you facebook page and you changed a lot. I hope you're doing just fine with school and friends.
It saddens me when we don't acknowledge each other now. I saw you.. I know you saw me too... But we decided to ignore. It hurts more to know now we are absolutely nothing?
You were so excited for 23/07 and I didn't even receive a text message. I don't need a wish or dine in to some fancy place. All I need is a hi from you but then again we are nothing.
Yes, I am happy that we've move so far now... I hope we could talk somedays when you're free because I'm always free for such a good brother, for a good friend like you.

Love,
NazJayy

Hang on

2010-08-02T05:28:00.000+08:00

Life's been good so far despite the rushing through assignments that I can't wait to get over and done with, really! I have a few photoshoot assignments this coming holiday and I can't wait.

The problem with me and clients is either I charge them too little (they say so!) or I don't charge at all. I don't know if I'm qualified to be in this in line at the first place. I am just enjoying myself but everyone started to ask me for charges.

Ive been looking around and market price is so high! Till 2k!! I don't really think I need such big amount of money. All I could think of is just a petty $50... My designer friends will kill me. I should ask the clan later.

Making money and doing the things I love=AWESOME(Y)(Y)

18 filled with happiness

2010-08-02T01:44:00.003+08:00

To the best people in the whole entire world,

Mummy and abah thanks for all the hectic 18years of having me as a child. For I am the most stubborn, naughty, difficult to handle daughter. Not surprise if one day you two will get a hugeee heart attack for being so worried of your second daughter.. but no worries mummy I love you so much and 'heart attach' won't happen because you two are so used with my excuses. Thanks for the hardcore love and concern and teaching me the value of life. Till the end of my world, you two will be in heart.

And to the noisy girls. Please stop being so bimbotic, cheek and dramatic. I love all of you three. With the constant hugs and kisses, the everyday updates we had and and the arguments we had. I cherish every single one of them because one day kakak will get married and then I will be away from sg IF God permits, dada will be busy with her projects and assignments because she is just toooooo slow! acin will 24/7 facing the computer screen dont know what she is doing! I love you girls forever and will never ever want to lose any one of you.

XOXO.

18 filled with hugs and kisses.

2010-08-02T01:29:00.002+08:00

Two special girls in my life made a surprise for me last friday.

To Lv and Eka,
Thank you so much for the great company, the chocolaty night and gorgeous beautiful presents!
All of that are so much hardwork and effort and thanks again.I am forever thankful to have you girls by my side. You two are the best cousin Ive ever had yes eka... YOU ARE ALREADY MY COUSIN FOR MAKING ME AND THE WHOLE FAMILY WORRIED.. still i love you. Thank you thank you thank you. It was splendid and I love you.

18 filled with love.

2010-08-02T00:37:00.003+08:00

To ayu, lijia, shah, kam, wei li, ahmad, fauzi, sheng yang, yy.

Thank you so much for all the hassle and I appreciate every single thing you all did just to make the princess hehe happy. Indeed, your plan was a successful one.

I never once felt uncomfortable with these people around me because you all let me be my own self and I love the fact you all don't judge me and always see me as a 'baby'. They all shower me with love, care and concern. And I can just choose any boyfriend I would want to be with if i feel like it. The girls who are there, my partner in crimes, my secret partners. The dirty girls talk to emotional love talk. They all are so bimbotic and annoying, please behave girls.

Stupid, assholic, fucking, annoying friends I have. We shall meet in hell. I love them from the bottom of my heart... they would prefer my breast actually.

Last Day

2010-07-23T00:33:00.003+08:00

Other than that, Im so blessed to have live in this world for 18years. The best wish is from my dad,followed by my mum and then my beautiful gorgeous sisters. Nothing beats celebrating your birthday at home.

My beloved friends, thanks so much for the wishes.
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart.

My fault.

2010-07-20T17:24:00.002+08:00

There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

I hope you're happy now that your mission is accomplished.

Flash, you make me feel sick.

2010-07-20T16:07:00.002+08:00

And now I'm stuck. I don't know where to go now.....

2010-07-19T04:49:00.000+08:00

I need to get my assignments done.
I need to get my assignments done.
I need to get my assignments done.
I need to get my assignments done.
I need to get my assignments done.
I need to get my assignments done.

No its not working at all. Off to find inspirations, bye.

Love the way you lie.

2010-07-19T04:38:00.001+08:00

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
That's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
That's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Chaos

2010-07-16T17:48:00.005+08:00

I never felt myself fighting for order in this big mess.
Chaos, you might call it but not too much i guess.
Motifs, Kernings, Type-faces, Helvetica, Grids.
This is the moment i indulge myself into the real world of a designer- a world of chaos.
Slow motion, breathing in and out if theres time left.
Nothing is ever really easy, nothing.

Take me away.

2010-07-10T04:09:00.002+08:00

How do people make it through life without a sister? I love all my sisters because we can do everything without any help from a brother.

I will always love you da, remember that.

L.Seletar

2010-07-10T02:48:00.003+08:00

I have been spending time with nothing but photoshop and illustration. Mock ups and more mock ups till I forgot to take notice things around me.
I gave lower seletar a visit with my sisters and it was beyond beautiful. I love the place and the peaceful remains after a year not visiting them. With new water features and they even have a mini rooftop and a huge jetty.
I would want to give a second visit with all the family members present.... right...after my projects please.

Another project is down.. and I felt a huge relief after shah and I sent in our sketchbooks. We were holding hands and the smile in our faces, that smile Ive not seen for quite a while, i shall call this joy of relief. Is there such a word?

I need to get enough sleep. Khairi has been reprimanding me to sleep well and drink lots of water. Do I look thaaaat bad? I never have such low esteem with my face. But he said my face used to be glowyyyy but now it looks tired.. yeah tired but I have no eye bags! I dont get him. But I do look tired this days...

There's a lot of things to catch up. I need to meet fida once a week.. atleast! I must spend my time with her *chant 1000times. I must get my specs done, my eyes are straining already. I must notice the dates and stop asking people about the dates already. I must drink.. yes! drink water! I must remember things. I must say 'I love you' more often to my loved ones. I must stop thinking to much and moooooooove on at that very spot. I must take things lightly. I must teach my elder some grooming, etiquette and how to be lady-like cause she is going trough her last training as a flight attendant/cabin crew. I must take photos!!! I must not get sick any of this days. And lastly... I must enjoy the last bits of being a 17year old. and be prepared for 18 now.

Ok back to designing now. Hope you all have a good weekend.

Chapter-closed.

2010-07-06T05:42:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I had a rough night and I think I was more than angry. I want to run away if I could and leave everything where it is suppose to be but of course we can't change situations just as we like. I just hope for a better world.. continue hoping.

Met fida today and laugh our asses off. When Im with her, the world is so much better. Stayed till 5am at her crib talking, argue non stop, laughing, eat and eat, assignments of course!

When everything else is against me. Fida will always be there and will always be the one believe in everything I do. Well, some perhaps... I am so glad to have such sincere friendship because bestfriends don't lie to each other. Thats why I am digging this friendship! Other than khairi, she will be my bfffl too. Haha, bfffl.

A coward boasting of his courage may deceive strangers,
but he is a laughing-stock to those who know him.

Digital Harinezumi.

2010-07-04T23:43:00.002+08:00

"The Digital Harinezumi is not the most advanced digital movie camera out there. But it might be the movie camera that will film reality just as you remember it from your childhood memories or from a dream. Superheadz, the creators, have worked for over a year in fine-tuning this machine to render images in a way that will remind you of the wonderful Super 8mm movies, and the result is stunningly good. It is tiny, ultra-portable and unbelievably easy to use. It does not only take great movies, but it also can take very unique, colour boosted and highly contrasted photographs, in the best toy camera tradition. The creators have on purpose removed the live-view from its LC display when taking pictures, to bring back the anticipation and unexpected results of analog phootgraphy. They have also left out the ability to record sound, to give you more room for your creativity and bring it closer to Super 8mm cameras. It is another great camera in the Superheadz collection, a camera that will inspire filmmakers from around the world. You will always have it with you. It uses microSD cards and replaceable batteries."

I would love to have this cute little creature. I would just film my life away and create beautiful composition just like above.

BFFFL.

2010-07-03T04:32:00.003+08:00

Khairi, after all these years and so many heartbreaks and so many little arguments we had. Im so glad we can still tolerate each other's nonsense. Im sorry for always making you mad by being late for more than an hour. Im sorry for being such a pain in ass for not coming for not coming for your climbs competitions. Im sorry for not being a good bestfriend for you. Im sorry for not replying your calls or sms.

But khairi, you are always in my heart forever. You read me like a book. You meet me at the middle of the night just to know updates from me. You always be there for me 24/7. You do everything to make me happy.

I am always busy, you are too but you made time for me and I don't. I thank you so much bestfriend for all these years and years to come.

Love&Trust

Gems.

2010-07-03T04:27:00.003+08:00

A day with the boys. A good time. Us, the future and the world nothing else matters.

Art.

2010-07-03T03:34:00.008+08:00

I never regretted going to Naval Base Secondary years ago. I remembered so many bad things people talk about this school and I really am glad that I got into this school even though I wasn't really happy about it during that time.

I remembered back then how I was so obsessed into art and although I prefer working independently rather than asking help from teachers. But this two dedicate ladies taught me a lot of things not only about art but also how to be a better person in life.

Those were the days we get inspired from anything and my seniors are not bad too. I am still in contact with them and I remembered days spent in art room. Eating maggi mee and having nice hot tea.
As much as I keep on saying I am going to be a lecturer instead of an art teacher, as much as I want to run away from that... I always have this feeling I'm going back Naval Base to teach art.

Pop Art and Spoilt Teevee.

2010-07-02T05:37:00.002+08:00

Ive been not sleeping well for this past few days and I think its a routine already which is good cause that means I can do more designs. So you all must be thinking on what the heck am I doing not sleeping and such.

Im not going to say its difficult cause really, its not. But neither easy too.

Moodboards for my upcoming project which is to re-design Naval Base Secondary School. I came out with 25page of proposal I think, that was hectic.

And these are mock ups for interactive website, everything is going to be dope here and I am still thinking on the future of keyboard... meaning I'm not going for consultation later, sux but I think my brain is just not working for now.

I hope you all have a great weekend and I am so looking forward for Saturday cause the family decides to go JB.

Let it go already.

2010-06-30T03:15:00.002+08:00

Feeling at the lowest I hope I will forget it. Enough of me thinking about it over and over again. At this moment all I need is a rest. Maybe because I think too much? I don't know what's happening in the world but I want to give up everything else.

I've been keeping myself busy. Ive been doing good all this while but there's something missing....and that's you.

Spicy evenings and sexy moves.

2010-06-29T04:31:00.003+08:00

"A trip to Ikea, I was so inspired just by looking at the little details. I was imagining a cute studion flat. with comfortable bedroom. Just me, myself and I with lots and lots of JodiPicoults around me. The huge ass white table filled with design books, paints and brushes. At the side will be Imac left switched on with my upcoming project, short films edit using Imovie or even better Final Cut Pro.

My small and cosy living room just enough for my awesome mates to chill and have fun. Watching interesting movies screened on the plasma tele while eating popcorns.

The kitchen is for baking and only for simple meals. Its going to be like a bar where champagne glasses hanging up on top and most importantly... "

I am living with myself, in 4years to come.

It was an enjoyable trip because maybe I had Nurul with me. I was doing some sketches because I always forget things and I know its bad so I learn my mistakes. I am going to pen down every small little things. Because you'll never know when it is going to be handy.

Whenever I am with her, things get out of hand. We are so much of a bimbo and what we do best is complain, complain and complain. I know we must stop this "going to be habit soon" but we just couldn't help it. Whenever Im with her its all about fun and nothing else matter. Its between us and OUR world.

First school is getting fine. Another 6weeks of school and then I hope so much for a better grade and then I shall say "HELLO TO MY FINAL YEAR IN NYP"

Graduation.

2010-06-28T04:39:00.002+08:00

My elder sister's graduation. Not my first video.. but well I think it turns out to be pretty good. It was all candid by the way.

Yuna, decorate

2010-06-28T04:20:00.004+08:00

Beautiful video. I have always love videography and love simple shots like this. Above is taken only by CanonG10. Yuna wanted the lo-fi look for this song and I loved the results. Edited using iMovie. For those who are using Macs should really start learning iMovie. It is so handy and simple to use.

I'm all black and white inside
Monotonous from left to right
I decorate my house with things you love
Just in case you show up.. in case you show up

Last?

2010-06-27T17:14:00.001+08:00

Do you remember this day? I remembered cause it was our last meet up.
Do you miss me? Cause I miss you so much.

Kampung visit.

2010-06-27T04:29:00.002+08:00

Inspirations are everywhere. A visit to this kampung creates whole beautiful composition. I was looking trough the photos I took during the visit and I came to a decision to just continue with YOG photographer.

It may be tough and difficult with so many competitors around me. But I already came this far, its time for me to shine even further.

A life without photography, is like life without excitement...